The Importance of Community in Marriage

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Photo credit: Stay Married Blog

One of our newfound values in marriage is having a community of couples, especially those married with children, to learn from and grow with. We’ve had many young couples in the past ask us for advice as they prepare for marriage, but we find that we learn just as much from them. We’re also constantly gleaning from seasoned couples and parents, whether they’ve been married 3 months or 30 years. Having this community is awesome because it’s in casual conversations that you learn about the similarities that couples face in their relationships. It’s just good to know that you’re not alone.

The need for us to have a community gave us the idea to begin having periodic couples brunches, where we meet with different couples (hopefully once a month) to learn from each other. Our first brunch was this past Saturday and it was a wonderful experience! Creating a community of couples where we can enjoy each others’ company through these experiences helps us to create a support network. When we got married it became difficult to maintain relationships with our single friends and we felt very isolated at times. Not to mention, like many couples in our generation, we both grew up in broken homes without many great examples of two-parent households. While we realize that we don’t all have the answers, maybe we can figure it out as a community.

We ended up going to Co Co Sala in DC for brunch, where we met with 4 other couples. Sharing meals with other people allows us to bring together 2 of our favorite things: our  love for exploring the DMV area for great places to eat (we’re big time self-proclaimed foodies) and we also love meaningful conversation with awesome people. The restaurant was chic, romantic, intimate and the food was excellent! Most couples got the $26, 3-course brunch (which we highly recommend). Best of all, it’s a chocolate-themed restaurant, so the first course was an amazing chocolate filled donut concoction!

The meet-up was very informal as we chatted about multiple facets of life, but of course the topic of marriage and relationships came up a lot. It was great hearing that other couples experience many of the same things we did and the similarities were uncanny. For example, we found that when it came to cooking meals, most husbands preferred to cook breakfast (if at all) whereas the wife usually cooked the majority of meals. It’s just nice to know that you can relate on various levels with other people.

As we reflected on this brunch we realized that while creating a support system, it is important for us to maintain quality over quantity. With a limited 12 months or 52 weeks in the year it is difficult to keep up with all of our friends and family, but we’re constantly learning to set boundaries and manage expectations on our relationships. People cross paths in life for reasons and often only certain seasons. Although, we want to create a sense of community and be the best friends we can possibly be, we also can’t force relationships to work when they don’t click or have faded over time.

In this era, couples will face the age-old challenges of marriage with a twist. Many in our generation of the millennials are delaying marriage until later in life or may not ever get married according to some, which may decrease the sense of community those who do wed will feel. Those who have found their soulmates earlier than their peers may also be grappling with the paradox of loneliness in the midst of the ubiquity of social media and technology. We’ve felt the sting of both of these issues at times. The key here is that whatever we do, we won’t do it alone.

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Where’s your favorite place to have brunch? 

Please comment below if you’re interested in joining us for a couples brunch in the DMV area! 

 

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Candice Henry says:

    I really enjoyed this read. I really think it’s an awesome idea to create a community of couples you can relate too. Please let us know when the next brunch is we would love to join. Do all the couples in the group know each other prior to going?

    Like

    1. Thanks so much for reading! We will def let you know. No, none of the other couples knew each other. So, it’s also a nice opportunity to meet new people!

      Like

    2. Hey thanks for responding Candice. We’re finally looking to have one in August or September again. Are you two interested?

      Like

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